NHS: The 'S' is for Socialism

The healthcare debate rages on as democrats try to push through death panels under the guise of ‘affordable health insurance for all Americans’.  What some seem to forget is that the US health system is the best in the world.  That the WHO places it at number 37 in the world is irrelevant.  What detractors fail to understand is that the healthcare system is like a nightclub.  If you are not on the list, you don’t get in and the more exclusive the better.  The only people to disagree are those not cool enough to get in…or anyone that has died from a pre-existing condition.   This system must be protected from calls to adopt a socialist health system such as that found in the UK, where by some twisted logic, bank balance does not determine the level of care.

I went to England to stare in the face of socialism.

[Health Correspondent] I’m outside an NHS hospital, to view the kind of horrors of only possible in a public health system…Excuse me sir?

[Random Patient] You in the line mate?

[Health Correspondent] The line for inadequate socialist healthcare?  No, I’m from The Mostly Legitimate News Network.

[Random Patient] Yeah, well I am in the line, so unless you been pissing blood…step aside.

[Health Correspondent] Right.  Um…Excuse me miss.  How many days have you been waiting for care–Wait, you don’t look sick?

[Another Random Patient] I’m pregnant.

[Health Correspondent] …Aren’t you a little young?

[Another Random Patient] Come off it!  I’m 16 init.

[Health Correspondent] Ah, well.  I’ll leave you to it.  Congratulations.  Err, you…boy?

[Innocent Child] Yes sir?

[Health Correspondent] Where are your parents?

[Innocent Child] Daddy’s with the doctor man.

[Health Correspondent] How do you feel knowing he may not come out alive?

[Innocent Child] Wh-What?  What’s wrong with daddy!?

[Health Correspondent] It’s not him Timmy, it’s the system.  Your socialised care is an evil, Orwellian system incapable of providing sufficient quality treatment and instead will employ bureaucrats to determine whether your father lives or dies in a ruthless effort to cut skyrocketing medial costs due to lack of proper governance.  That’s the problem.

[Innocent Child] …D-Daddy’s going to die…?

[Health Correspondent] That’s not for me to say Timmy.  It’s for folk crueler  myself to judge whether your father is worthy or not…And you could be next.

[Innocent Child] …I w-want DADDY!

[Doctor Cullen] What’s going on here, why are you harassing my patients?

[Health Correspondent] I’m exposing the truth of the Nazi style health system to avoid  US from making a big mistake. Could you tell us just how bad health care in this country is?

[Sounds of child crying]

[Doctor Cullen] This again!  You people just won’t stop.

[Health Correspondent] Isn’t it true that dying patients are forced to prove their worth to the country in front of a panel of judges to determine who will receive care?

[Doctor Cullen] Of course not!  That’s barbaric.

[Health Correspondent] What of reports that patients aren’t ground up for food as part of extreme cost cutting measures?

[Doctor Cullen] Where are you getting this rubbish from?

[Health Correspondent] Where’s all good journalists go for the latest scoop, Twitter.

[Doctor Cullen] Look, you’re wasting your time.  I have patients to attend to.

[Health Correspondent] Attend to end of life counselling for the elderly?  How many grandmothers have you euthanised today doctor?

[Doctor Cullen] I don’t know what you people are trying to do here.  What do you want from me?

[Health Correspondent] The truth…Our reader must be made aware of the endless barriers socialised medicine will place between them and the doctors they need, like this…

[Doctor Cullen] That’s my office door.

[Health Correspondent] Just one more barrier to good healthcare.  Barriers that don’t exist in the US health system…Partly because any money is used to pay insurance companies, but mostly for the patients.

[Doctor Cullen] How dare you come here just to drag our health system into your political drama!  If you want to talk lets talk about facts, not wild accusations with no bearing on reality.

[Health Correspondent] I was getting to that, if you just let me finish…the fact is that the UK “health” system is a continuation of Nazi camps and aims to phase out the elderly in the most cost effective way possible.

[Doctor Cullen] Do you enjoy spreading fear to further your own political agenda?  We care for the sick here, that’s all.  Now if there’s nothing else…

[Health Correspondent] …So I won’t be seeing the death panels?

[Doctor Cullen] Haven’t you listened to anything I’ve been saying?  There are no death–

[Paramedic] We’ve got an emergency here!

[Doctor Cullen] What happened!?  He’s lost a lot of blood. You need to leave, now.

[Health Correspondent] You think I can’t see past this well planned coincidence to distract me from the truth?

[Doctor Cullen] His heart just stopped!

[Health Correspondent] So you got lucky, but the truth will come out eventually.