But it’s still not high enough.
It comes as no surprise that pigs are the source of this latest virus outbreak. Something that sleeps its own mess is bound to cause viral pandemic eventually. The feeling at this network is that the full magnitude of the situation has not been communicated effectively. We are standing on the edge of a full blown global pandemic and while the mainstream media has done it’s best to instil the kind of fear the situation warrants, the network feels that there is still another level of fear to be achieved and I travelled to WHO headquarters to find out how we can get there.
I spoke to Dr Max Phillips to find out how panicked we should be.
[Chief Editor] How are you doctor? Thanks for taking time out to talk.
[Dr. Phillips] …Why did we have to meet in this warehouse? The WHO has a perfectly adequate press room.
[Chief Editor] Too many people, can’t take that chance. This abandoned building is perfect…You’ve been sanitised right?
[Dr. Phillips] Don’t worry, I don’t have swine flu.
[Chief Editor] …OK. Why don’t you tell us how bad this situation is. At what stage should people think about looting?
[Dr. Phillips] The important thing to remember is not to panic.
[Chief Editor] Just give me a number, ball park figure.
[Dr. Phillips] There’s no need to start looting. This is by no means a global pandemic.
[Chief Editor] It’s only a matter of time. Cases are being confirmed the world over and the Director General has raised the alert level to 4, just two from the maximum.
[Dr. Phillips] Look. I am telling you there is no need to overreact. These confirmed cases have thankfully shown mild symptoms only. Just stay safe and don’t make any unnecessary travel arrangements.
[Chief Editor] You mean avoid Mexico?
[Dr. Phillips] Any place that has seen widespread symptoms.
[Chief Editor] But especially Mexico?
[Dr. Phillips] …I suppose.
[Chief Editor] Why don’t we just close off and quarantine Mexico? We need a reason to shut the border anyway, why not kill two birds with one stone?
[Dr. Phillips] The WHO says that the virus cannot be contained, so that would be a wasted effort.
[Chief Editor] So it is a pandemic? If it can’t be contained there’s nothing we can do right? It’s over.
[Dr. Phillips] I didn’t say that.
[Chief Editor] How many people have contracted the virus so far. 1, 2 million? It’s got to be least 2 million.
[Dr. Phillips] Nothing like that. Latest estimates put the number dead at 160 with only one death outside Mexico. A tragic loss nonetheless.
[Chief Editor] Why have only Mexicans been largely afflicted by this? Is the impoverished and malnourished state of the country to blame?
[Dr. Phillips] We are not exactly sure. This is something we have not seen bef–ACHOO! Excuse me.
[Chief Editor] Stay back!
[Dr. Phillips] What are you talking about, I’m fine and–AAARGGH! You maced me!?
[Chief Editor] You assured me you weren’t sick! Now I need to get vaccinated.
[Dr. Phillips] You fool! Arrgh!
I escaped the warehouse before knowing the fate of Dr Phillips, but I can only assume my brief interview has seen his last words as he becomes the latest victim of this rampant and unstoppable virus. I am sure that beneath his ostensibly calm and rational last words, lay fear of what is to come. The message is clear; Avoid Mexicans at all costs, trust no one. And remain fearful.
Leave a Reply