Mexico has been a good export of cheap, disposable labour and that relationship has worked pretty well thus far. The US gets a mass of bodies that will unknowingly work for less than any respectable American, while Mexicans get to live “the American dream”. It’s a win-win. However, something else has become a popular export from central America. Drugs. Mexico is responsible for pumping the US with large quantities of illegal narcotics, causing people to trade in Codeine for cocaine and Xanax…for more cocaine. The situation is threatening to get out of hand as Mexican cartels fight for the right to poison Americans.
[Latin America Correspondent] I’m joined today with José Sanchez. Welcome José.
[Jose] José? My name is not José.
[Latin America Correspondent] Oh, of course. José’s my gardener. Err…Hector? Carlos? Javier?
[Jose] Daniel. Daniel Garcia. We spoke just an hour ago?
[Latin America Correspondent] That’s right. I actually had it written down too…how bout that.
[Mr Garcia] Can we move on?
[Latin America Correspondent] Sure. We’ll be discussing the legal drug problem in Mexico. You’re from the…”Comité para la legislación antidrogas“…what’s that?
[Mr Garcia] The Anti Narcotics Legislation Committee. We work to advise on measures to crack down on the illegal narcotics trade that has sadly flourished in Mexico.
[Latin America Correspondent] I’m not very familiar with Spanish, except for “aparcar mi coche” and “i contado el cambio”.
[Mr Garcia] I see.
[Latin America Correspondent] So as you must know, Mexico has a drug problem.
[Mr Garcia] This is not just Mexico’s problem. The United States is not without fault.
[Latin America Correspondent] Well by my count 90 percent of all illegal narcotics consumed in the US comes through Mexico. The facts don’t lie Diego.
[Mr Garcia] Daniel.
[Latin America Correspondent] Daniel. You can’t deny that Mexico is a conduit for illegal drugs. We can’t have illegal drugs encroaching on the market of legalised drugs that US cartels have worked so hard to build.
[Mr Garcia] What cartels are these?
[Latin America Correspondent] We call them pharmaceuticals and they’ve put in a lot of work to keep Americans in a constant state of inebriation.
[Mr Garcia] This industry exists because of the demand from your country. We should address what is driving the appetite US citizens have for such substances and how the cartels have been able to gain power.
[Mr Garcia] How is what possible?
[Latin America Correspondent] That Mexicans can be so organised. It makes no sense. Put a bunch of you guys together and it’s a fiesta. How are these cartels able to function as a cohesive unit for any longer than a week?
[Mr Garcia] They are supported by cash from the drug trade and have access to military grade munitions such as automatic rifles and missile launchers. I’m also sorry to say that we are not exempt from corruption. The cartels are often tipped off when our forces attempt raids.
[Latin America Correspondent] Which cartel are you affiliated with?
[Mr Garcia] Ha! We are not associated with these fiends, señor.
[Latin America Correspondent] Come on. Your little committee isn’t get some kind of kick back…a discount in product? You can tell me.
[Mr Garcia] Please do not insult our integrity like this.
[Latin America Correspondent] OK…we’ll talk after the interview.
[Mr Garcia] We are not involved with these people.
[Latin America Correspondent] Then why do you care so much? Just wait until they wipe each other out. It what we do with the Crips and Bloods.
[Mr Garcia] We have considered this. However, the violence has spilled over into civilian life as well as US territory.
[Latin America Correspondent] That’s right. Normally what you do is no cause for concern, but a recent report has labelled Mexican cartels as the biggest organised crime threat to the United States. Is Mexico in danger of becoming a narcostate?
[Mr Garcia] I don’t think so, the situation is not beyond us. As for “the biggest crime threat”, you might be overreacting. There is still the mafia threat and you’ve already mentioned the negro ganags.
[Latin America Correspondent] True, but the blacks only kill themselves and ever since the Sopranos ended, support for the mafia has fallen sharply. Mexican cartels are the new danger and we have to put a stop to it before the it turns into a late night HBO sitcom.
[Mr Garcia] We do not want this problem anymore than you, but the industry is successful because there is a demand. You must examine the core reasons why so many people feel the need to consume these dangerous substances. People must also understand the impact their consumption has on innocent people in my country.
[Latin America Correspondent] Let’s not rush to blame others, especially when they don’t know any better. If you give someone lemons, they’re going to make lemonade…Or in this case, a Frisco Special.
[Mr Garcia] No one is obliged to consume these things. That is a very narrow view.
[Latin America Correspondent] Thanks. It’s that tunnel vision that gives me my journalistic edge, you know.
[Mr Garcia] There are more fundamental problems to be concerned about. I have admitted some corruption in my country, but the scale of the drug and gun smuggling simply can not happen without corruption in some US authorities.
[Latin America Correspondent] Now you’re blaming our government? Why would authorities be complicit in this?
[Mr Garcia] $13 billion a year is made from the drug trade, it is a very profitable business.
[Latin America Correspondent] That is a lot of money…but no. No! I don’t know how you run things on your side of the border, but in this country, America, we don’t stand for corruption…expect when it comes to prostitutes and taxes. Those are OK. But drugs? I’m not buying it. Now way José, err, Daniel.
[Mr Garcia] The sooner this fact is acknowledged the sooner the problem can be properly tackled.
[Latin America Correspondent] Did you just come here to blame us for your problems? What about the border? Illegal immigrants are being recruited into cartels at an alarming rate. More illegas are recruited into cartels than McDonalds. Shut the border and we solve the problem.
[Mr Garcia] That is a symptom of the demand from the US. These illegal immigrants are not the reason for the drug trade they are being pulled in to to serve – what even Mrs Clinton describes as – an insatiable appetite for illegal drugs. This is the real issue that I feel is not getting enough atten–
[Latin America Correspondent] Yeah, yeah. We’ll get to that in a second. Just wait. You’ve already admitted the border is the problem. One issue at a time.
[Mr Garcia] I said it is a problem, not the problem.
[Latin America Correspondent] Whatever. The point is we can’t have people illegals coming into the country when ever they like, treating this country like a public park.
[Mr Garcia] Yes, there is a problem with the border, but that is not what we here to talk about. In regard to the drugs–
[Latin America Correspondent] I said we’ll get to that. But we need to figure out how to stop these Mexicans from getting into the country.
[Mr Garcia] I am not here to talk about the border, or “these Mexicans”.
[Latin America Correspondent] It’s all related. If we stop the illegal flow of Mexisans in to the contry, the illegal flow of drugs will end too.
[Mr Garcia] Yes, I am aware of this. I find it quite demeaning to have my people observed in this manner like entertainment. This is inneffective will not stop the drug problem when there is so much corruption at already within the cou–
[Latin America Correspondent] Look. There’s a guy now! Look at him trying to get into the country…and only one shoe. Do you know him?
[Mr Garcia] How you expect me to tell from here?
[Latin America Correspondent] He must be an illegal. Let me call immigration…
[Mr Garcia] Surely that can wait? The man is clearly no threat.
[Latin America Correspondent] I guess. But if he’s recruited while we’re speaking, it’s on your conscience.
[Mr Garcia] We should get back on topic.
[Latin America Correspondent] We are on topic. We have to crack down on illegals. The President has also called for increased scrutiny on southern heading traffic. You’re on your way to Mexico, correct?
[Mr Garcia] Yes, I have an important meeting with other members of my committee to discuss new legislation aimed at tackling this problem.
[Latin America Correspondent] …What’s in the bag?
[Mr Garcia] Excuse me!?
[Latin America Correspondent] President’s orders. Open the bag.
[Mr Garcia] usted está loco. Quién diablos crees que eres!?
[Mr Garcia] No! Under no circumstance shall you go through my personal effects.
[Latin America Correspondent] I’m just saving you the time and public humiliation you’ll face at the border.
[Mr Garcia] No, you are treating me like a second class citizen. We are done here.
[Latin America Correspondent] Have it your way. I need to phone call to make anyway…That illegal can’t have gotten too far with only one shoe…
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